The Things I Wear HNT 2

I don't technically wear this. But it's a sign of my faith and I carry my faith with me everywhere.

This is my mother's mothers' rosary. I say the rosary multiple times a day. I mumble it when I have nothing to think about in the car, I say it in my head in the OR when I'm holding a limb forever. I also use it to go to sleep. I rarely actually hold the rosary when I say the rosary. It's more of a mental mantra for me. Only when things get really bad, really stressed, really too much to handle do I take the rosary physically into my hand. It's really bad now and I've found myself falling to sleep with it in my bed and waking with it curled up under my pillow. At least I subconsciously tuck it away.

Tomorrow I am driving home to spend through next week with my mom, longer if things get worse. She said I should come home before Memorial Day so I'm going home. I'll be saying my prayers and if you have time and feel that you can, give a little one up if you can. Thank you.

Happy HNT

and she slept...

I fell asleep reading last night at 7:15. I woke up at 9:30. I walked down stairs, turned off the kitchen light, walked back upstairs, turned off the bedside lamp and slept until 4:30 this morning until I had to go to the bathroom. I did that, crawled back in and slept until the 6:30 alarm. I feel so rested! Wow!

A new friend

I was presented with a new friend today. Meet Zeus the Moose

The last week has been hell. My massage therapist can probably best describe how it has affected me because he spent an hour just on my back today and still didn't get all the knots out. I didn't cry when he was digging into my intercostals but it sure burned. I'm on my second round of ice now but at least I can take a deep breath again without my back screaming at me.

Those who follow along know my mom has been sick for a long time. There have been good periods and bad periods over the last 6 years. We have now reached the point where bad periods outnumber good ones. Mom has been in the hospital twice in 10 days. They moved a hospital bed into the farm house this week. I have vacation planned to go back to South Dakota over Memorial Day week. Mom and dad called on Wednesday night and said if I could plan to come sooner I should. Mom actually agreed it was a good idea to come sooner. That is NOT a good sign.

Whenever I have had serious stressors in my life my friends have pulled through. My friends are spread all over the damn country though. Nonetheless, they have always been there for me and when they haven't been able to physically be by my side, they have given me a stand-in. That's where Zeus comes in...I met a friend for lunch today after my massage and she presented me with Zeus. I'm going to take him along on the trip to South Dakota this week.

Zeus is joining a long line of inanimate, stuffed critters who have gotten me through the rough spots. There was the ivory bear from my RA when grandpa died, the moose from my boyfriend on my 21st birthday who looked like he was 20 years old on the first day he was bought, there's the panda bear from "that" HNT post. Zeus sounds formidable so hopefully he's up to the task of consoling me through the next step.

The Things I Wear HNT

I have quite the collection of jewerly. A lot of things I have made including this piece. A lot of it I got from my grandma. Most of it I have picked up at random stores, shops, and from gifts. I thought I would do a series with the various things I like most. Figured it would give me quite a few HNT's to fill space. Hope you enjoy the series. Happy HNT!

Whatcha' think?

I've had the new do now for almost a week (tomorrow). Here's a couple views from the front. I've figured out a few ways to fix it over the last week and I'll try to remember to take pictures of them when I do them. Last Friday I flew out the back for some volume and gooped up the sides with "hair paste" to tuck behind my ears. I really liked that one. Saturday I picked up a new narrow flat iron to try to make it all "shaggy" too. I'm having fun with. The best part...even when I blew it all out it only took just under 10 minutes. I love it!

Non-Fiction Five Challenge

It must be the spring and the sense of potential. Because I have expanded my own "to read" pile I have been exploring other's "to read" piles. When doing so, I found the Non-Fiction Five Challenge and have decided to participate. Go to the link to find the rules and how to enter.

Here's my five non-fiction choices to read between May 1 and September 30. I'm looking forward to expanding my horizons a bit.

1. Measure of a Man by Sidney Portier
2. Children's Blizzard by David Laskin
3. Interior Castle by St. Teresa of Avila
4. Midnight in the Garden of Good and Evil by John Berendt
5. Infidel by Ayaan Hirsi Ali

Here's why I these are challenges for me.

Measure of a Man is a spiritual autobiography written by Sidney Portier. Mr Portier is "before my time" but I recognize the name. I don't know him as a man. I don't read biographies either.

Children's Blizzard is a historical piece about a devastating winter storm which killed hundreds of people in South Dakota, where I grew up. While I grew up in South Dakota, when I left, I really left. It's where I'm "from". When I refer to "home" I'm often talking about Montana b/c that very much felt like home. So I'm adding this to my list to learn more about what came before me in South Dakota.

Interior Castle is questionable in the terms of "non-fiction". In my mind, it is non-fiction. St Teresa of Avila was a mystic I studied when I was in college. I was exposed to excerpts only of her work in a very short 6 week summer course on women mystics in general. Mystics reach a darkness and utter dispare during their lives. Lately, I've been somewhat down. On the flip, mystics then become enlightened. I'm going to look for some enlightment through the words of St Teresa of Avila.

Midnight in the Garden of Good and Evil is a challenge for me because I normally like to read fictional crime because I don't like to imagine that some of the crime and murder stories I read our real. But this story is real. What a challenge to try to understand the mind of a killer.

Infidel struck me as I was roaming through the store because of the beautiful woman on the cover. But as I read the dust cover I found out the author is a Somali woman. Somewhat oddly, southeast Minnesota has a significant Somali immigrant population. I don't know a lot about their culture but I do know the reasons I end up meeting these people as patients is because of the horrible political unrest and violence in their country that has led to horrible, life changing injuries. I want to see this through the eyes of a woman willing to challenge the "system".

So there's my list. I have four of them already, I'll pick up the last when it's been out a while longer.

Whoa...what just happened

I read a lot. I read a wide variety of books. Some books are just okay. Some books I don't finish. Some books I have to start over before I can get into them. This book, I have to tell you about!

I just finished Double Bind by Chris Bohjalian. I was blown away. You know that feeling you got at the end of watching "The Sixth Sense" for the first time. This book gives you THAT feeling. I was enjoying to book, particularly pages 250-300 or so as all the pieces were coming together and I'm 'getting' it. I didn't 'get it'. I finished turning the last 10 pages or so and was like, "whoa...what just happened? For real? Wow?"

I love it when a book does that. I haven't read a book that did that for a long time. You need to read this book. It's about a young woman who is attacked while bike riding and turns to her photography after the attack. She works in a homeless shelter and gets left with a box of photos by a resident who dies at the beginning of the book. She wants to track down the story behind the photos. I won't tell you any more. You need to read it.

Wow! Now a new adventure when I get to start a new story this afternoon. Yippee...and the weather's a bit gray so what better reason to curl up with a book. Have a great weekend everyone.

HNT...revealed

It was about time...I don't really have "habits". I need change, keep things moving, keep myself on my toes. I've been itching for a change. I got it! Happy HNT!!!!

SURPRISE

Stay tuned for a big surprise...

Monday, Monday

I have added even MORE books to my "to read" list! I can't read them fast enough lately. I slumped for a while last month but I'm devouring pages again. So I'm leaving you with a quick meme stole from My Utopia and I'm going to keep reading! Hope you all had a wonderful Easter.

1.Whats your name spelt backwards? ellociN

2. What did you do last night? Drove home from Duluth and moved into a friend's house to dog sit for the week

3. The last thing you downloaded onto your computer? The newest iTunes.

4. Have you ever licked a 9 volt battery? ew...no

5. Last time you swam in a pool? at Wisconsin Dells in January

6. What are you wearing? Purple windpants, a Carroll College sweatshirt and my slippers

7. How many cars have you owned? Patch, my Saturn currently. Mom and dad owned the rest.

8. Type of music you dislike most? Vulgar worded anything. Otherwise I'll listen to most about everything.

9. Are you registered to vote? Yes and I have never voted a straight ticket.

10. Do you have cable? Digital cable with a few extra packages added.

11. What kind of computer do you use? Dell laptop

12. Ever made a prank phone call? Yes

13. You like anyone right now? More than they know.

14. Would you go bungee jumping or sky diving? I skydived on my honeymoon. I will NEVER bungee jump.

15. Furthest place you ever travelled? England, Scotland, and Wales

16.Do you have a garden? No, I don't have time.

17. What's your favorite comic strip? I like Cathy and For Better or Worse

18. Do you know all the words to the national anthem? Yes

19. Shower, morning or night? Morning

20. Best movie you've seen in the past month? Wild Hogs

21. Favorite pizza toppings? BBQ Chicken

22. Chips or popcorn? Kettle boiled chips or buttery movie popcorn

23. What cell phone provider do you have? Sprint

24. Have you ever smoked peanut shells? Why and how do you do that?

25. Have you ever been in a beauty pageant? Yes

26. Orange Juice or apple? Orange

27. Who were the last people you sat at lunch with? My aunt and her friend Marilyn yesterday

28. Favorite chocolate bar? Mars Bar with Almonds which you can rarely find anymore

29. Who is your longest friend and how long? Jami...16 years or so

30. Last time you ate a homegrown tomato? Probably last summer sometime

31. Have you ever won a trophy? Yes and I have no clue where any of them are.

32. Favorite artist? Any nature photograher

33. Favorite computer game? Wii Sports Bowling and Wii Play Cow Racing :)

34. Ever ordered from an infomercial? Nope

35. Sprite or 7-UP? Either but really prefer Ginger Ale

36. Have you ever had to wear a uniform to school/work? Yes

37. Last thing you bought at the store? A new stack of books to read

38. Ever thrown up in public? Yes, unfortunately more than once.

39. Would you prefer being a millionaire or finding true love? True love, I can't stand money

40. Do you believe in love at first sight? No

41.Can exes just be friends? I'm doubtful

42. Who was the last person you visited in the hospital? Do my patients count?

43. Did you have long hair as a young kid? Very. Cut it off in second grade because it would pull my head back when it was wet and give me a headache.

44. What message is on your voicemail machine? Not really sure, something about leaving me a message though

45. Where would you like to go right now? Home with Heather, pizza sticks and Beaches

Bookworm Meme

I stole this from My Utopia and then Lime so I figured I better get it posted before EVERYONE has it on their site. I'm a book nut...Nerd I Am :)

Hardback or trade paperback or mass market paperback? Whatever intrigues me on any particular day

Amazon or brick and mortar? Mostly brick and mortar...especially quirky little local privately owned little bookstores

Barnes & Noble or Borders? We don't really have Borders around where I live so B & N it is.

Bookmark or dogear? I use the dust cover if it's a hard cover book. I dog ear paperbacks. I think a book that looks used is a good book.

Alphabetize by author or alphabetize by title or random? I group authors together but that is as organized as my shelves get.

Keep, throw away, or sell? mostly keep. Right now I've been into giving away. Should really try to sell.

Keep dustjacket or toss it? Keep them

Read with dustjacket or remove it? It becomes my bookmark.

Short story or novel? Novels...short stories don't give me 'enough'

Collection (short stories by same author) or anthology (short stories by different authors)? Would prefer different authors, similar topics.

Harry Potter or Lemony Snicket? Harry Potter...I have the last one on pre-order already.

Stop reading when tired or at chapter breaks? Whenever I can't keep my eyes open or remember the previous page...whichever comes first.

“It was a dark and stormy night” or “Once upon a time”? I need "dark and stormy", I don't believe in once upon a time anymore.

Buy or Borrow? I'm more likely to buy.

New or used? I use to NEVER buy used books...now, I realize how much money I spend on books. Used is perfectly fine unless I just can't wait.

Buying choice: book reviews, recommendation or browse? A little bit of everything. Mostly a browser.

Tidy ending or cliffhanger? I like an ending...I don't do well with books that just end. For example...Kite Runner was a wonderful story and then it just came to and end. I feel cheated when a book does that.

Morning reading, afternoon reading or nighttime reading? Mostly at night but afternoons on the weekends are always a treat.

Stand-alone or series? More of a stand alone but I do have several authors who have created repeating characters whom I have fallen in love with.

Favorite series? Several...My first series faves came with the Nancy Drew books and The Babysitter Club when I was a pre-teen. Then came Patricia Cornwell's Scarpetta novels, more recently Kathy Reichs Bones series, and I just ordered The Dead Triology by McKinty!

Favorite children's book ? Velveteen Rabbit

Favorite book of which nobody else has heard? The Alieniest by Caleb Carr

Favorite books read last year? Eat, Pray and Love by Elizabeth Gilbert

Favorite books of all time? i just can't, I've read so many

Least favorite book you finished last year? Anything I HAD to read for work :)

What are you reading right now? Double Bind and Dahli Lama My Son

What are you reading next? I have a whole list, depends on what I feel like when I finish what I'm reading now.

new books!

Nothing makes me smile like a stack of brand new books to read (even the kitties enjoy the benefits)...I needed a pick me up and so I asked the boyfriend to join me at Barnes and Noble for the afternoon. Figure we needed some time together but was too scared to go home and just "talk" yet. We did eventually go home, read our books together, ate dinner and talked about what we needed to talk. I feel a bit better.

Now I'm at home and I have two bags of new books to read :) I started Double Bind by Chris Bohjalian. I'm 75 pages into it already and I'm hooked. Here's what else I got:

Nanny Diaries by Emma McLaughlin, Nicola Kraus on CD for this weekend's road trip
The Memories We Keep by Walter Zacharius
The Patron Saint of Lairs by Ann Patchett
Midnight in the Garden of Good and Evil by John Berendt
Interior Castle by Teresa of Avila, Translated by E. Allison Peers
Flesh and Bone by Jefferson Bass

There is something about the potential a stack of brand new books brings with it. The anticipation of a new story through another's eyes. The chance to put yourself into situations you might never experience for real. A chance to see how others live. An opportunity to escape into the pages. A new book has a smell too. When you mention the smell of a "new car" to someone, almost everyone can conjour up the aroma. The same is true for a "new" book as opposed to an "old" book.

So things are still on mostly level ground in my life with a few pebbles in the path. Until the pebbles are cleared, I'll watch my step. In the meantime, I'm going to read.

any one understand?

so much for things looking up. i'm lost, confused, and don't know where to turn or what to do next. like I said earlier, I know what I want but someone else doesn't. uncertainity hurts so bad when it hits you up side the head after you thought you knew what was going on. how come I have to care so much? how come I have to love so much? how come I want to make it work? lot's of how comes and now a single answer it seems. just tears, stress, and no one really close by that really understands. how come?

No picture...just a meme

Dirty Little Secrets -- Answer Truthfully. I edited it some.

1. The phone rings; who do you want it to be? The boyfriend, I'm tired and just want to hear his voice.

2. When shopping at the grocery store, do you return your cart? Yes, drives me nuts when they are scattered.

3. In a social setting, are you more of a talker or a listener? Talker

4. Do you take compliments well? Not usually...forget to just say thank you and instead fumble all over my words

5. Do you play Sudoku? Only if it's readily available, I won't search out books and such

6. If abandoned alone in the wilderness, would you survive? Yeah, I'd bitch for a bit but I have the know how to make it for a few weeks.

7. Do you like to ride horses? Yeah but don't have the time or the money for that hobby anymore

8. Did you ever go to camp as a kid? Never. First trip was as a junior in college to Yellowstone. I fell in love with it.

9. What was your favorite game as a kid? Gin Rummy with my grandparents

10. If a person was pursuing you, but you knew he/she was married, would you go for it? Definitely absolutely NEVER! Been on the burned end of that and still recovering.

11. Have you lied to get out of a date? Yes

12. Could you date someone with different religious beliefs than you? yes, I find different religions interesting

13. Do you like to pursue or be pursued? A bit of both

14. Use three words to describe yourself? committed, over-achiever, faithful

15. Do any songs make you cry? I don't have enough time to list them all

16. Are you continuing your education? Eventually...going to take a death investigations course sometime in the next few years

17. Do you know how to shoot a gun? Not really.

18. If your house was on fire, what would be the first thing you grabbed? Not counting my husband…my purse so I wouldn’t have to get all my identification replaced.

19. How often do you read books? Every single day

20. Do you think more about the past, present or future?The present into the future right now, hence I'm not sleeping well!

21. What is your favorite children's book? Velveteen Rabbit when I was little, Nancy Drew and The Hardy Boys as a pre-teen

22. What color are your eyes? Green

23. How tall are you? 5 feet 8 inches

24. Where is your dream house located? The top of a long driveway in the middle of the woods on top of a mountain in Montana

25. Have you tried sushi? Yes and I don't really like it

26. Have you ever taken pictures in a photo booth? Yes

27. When was the last time you were at Olive Garden? Last Friday night

28. When was the last time you were at Church? Saturday

29. Where was the furthest place you traveled today?
My accountant's office...maybe 4 miles

30. What was your favorite job? Barista at a privately owned local coffee shop in Helena, MT

31. Do you look like your mom or dad? A bit of both and I notice more of each as I get older.

32. How long does it take you in the shower? 8 minutes (I know because I have it down to a science in the morning)

33. Can you do the splits? Nope

34. If you could fast forward your life, would you? Scared to right now

35. What did you do for New Year's? Had to bail on the romantic weekend so I invited a house full of friends over for chicken lasagna and a lot of wine and champagne.

36. Do you think The Grudge was scary? Not so much scary and just annoying loud and unreal. Hated it.

37. Could you relate to a character in Mean Girls? Never watched it.

38. Do you own a camera phone? Yes, can't seem to buy one without these days.

39. What do you buy at the movies? Popcorn with extra butter, root beer, twizzlers

40. Do you wear your seatbelt? Always

41. What do you wear to sleep? Any sort of pj pant and tank tops

42. Anything big ever happen in your hometown? Nope...300 people don't cause much big

43. Ever been to L.A.? My entire senior class went for 5 days for senior class trip.

44. Do you steal or pay for your music downloads? I pay now, use to download from wherever

45. Are you a gullible person? Nope, I have trust issues so I doubt pretty much everything until I can confirm all details

46. If you could have any job what would it be? Medical examiner

47. Are you easy to get along with? Most days...I have my moments

48. What is your favorite time of day? 11 pm or so...when I can curl up with a good book in the dark and quiet with just a little lamp and my kitties purring on my lap

Spring sprung

Spring sprung this weekend! YEAH!!!!

The last month has been wet, gray, and yucky. Not to mention the emotional turmoil of the past month for me. It's been hard. I'm doing my best to stay positive and the best remedy has been keeping myself very busy. My house is also very clean now. The weather over the last two days has allowed me to open my windows and air things out. I also worked outside in the garage and have this serious itch to clean it all out.

The last month has definitely had more downs then ups. It's amazing what a little sunshine and fresh air can do for one's psyche though. Clears out the cobwebs, dries a few tears (or sometimes a lot), gives things a new shine and outlook. I still don't know what the near future holds for me, I know in my heart what I want and I'll hold on to that because it feels safe. The rest, I can't control and for me that is the hardest part of it all. All I can do is be true to myself and keep both my heart and my soul busy...if spring cleaning is what I need to do it, I guess that's what I'll do.

Have a great week!w

Who'd you invite?

I don't talk religion on my site much but occasionally I throw it in. This weekend at our Women's Lenten Retreat the presenter led us through a cool visual reflection. When we were all done we met in small groups to talk about what we had visualized. The topic for the day was The Basin and The Towel in it's relationship to our call to serve and to be served as Jesus did at the Last Supper.

Our task was to arrange our own Last Supper. Jesus would be there in our own homes and we had to plan the meal and guest list. Would we use special dishes? Any particular table setting? Who would you invite? Etc...it was very intriguing.

I instantly decided on my Chicken Alfredo Lasagna. It's easy and tasts amazing. Goes great with a Caeser salad. A couple bottles of white wine. Something with raspberries for dessert. All easy enough. Then I started my guest list. Then I started wondering where I would sit every one. Then I started worrying if I forgot someone. Did I have all the ingredients? It's got to be just right...

Then, an "aha" moment! Forget the guest list, keep the menu, just invite Jesus. If you are familiar with the Bible stories of Mary and Martha you know Martha was a fussy sort. Everything had to be perfect, it was always her busy prepping and serving which made an event successful while her sister Mary would sit at the feet of Jesus and talk. Once Jesus scolded Martha for her flightiness and instructed her to sit and enjoy. So, I'm a "martha". I have to have it all planned out, I have to make sure every guest is happy.

So...for my Last Supper in my own home I would invite Jesus, we would eat in the living room on my usual periwinkle Fiestaware with several bottles of average white wine and afterwards curl up in blankets and watch a movie together. Boring but at least I know I was giving Jesus my attention and he vice versa.

Now, the challenge...Who would you invite? What would you make? Why that way? Just something to ponder.

Post-Patty's Day Prattle

The weekend is finally nearly over and I'm looking to get a few hours of it back! It was a great weekend and I wouldn't mind extending just a few hours of it. Maybe a few Irish prayers and the sun upon my back finally helped me out...

Yesterday morning started with our Lenten Retreat at church. We had a guest speaker so all i had to do was get the morning organized and physically set things up. The best part of the morning was a reflection she had us do on the Last Supper. She had us think about who we would invite to join us in our own home along with Jesus if we were to hose a dinner with him. Who to invite, who would sit where, what would you serve, etc? It was a neat experience.

Last night we joined a group of my friends and acquaintances from work for a surprise 50th birthday party. We had great food, good music, good friends. I even discovered a new drink. Ever try Yukon Jack and Mountain Dew in a Yu-Dew? Very yummy! We went out to a little Irish pub after dinner. It was a crowded smokey mix of drunkness and only an okay band. Their song selection was a bit questionable and their quality was just okay. We stayed until about 10:30 and headed home to watch a movie. This morning we took advantage of sleeping in, made breakfast, and hung out. It was very very nice.

i have smokey clothes to wash now and need to find something for supper but I'm happy for the first time in a few weekends. It was nice for a change. The luck of the Irish was with me and for that I'm grateful. Top o' the week to ya all!

Irish I am...

This is why i carry my own irish shot glass around my neck :)

You're 70% Irish

You're very Irish, and most likely from Ireland. (And if you're not, you should be!)

How Irish Are You?

I'm ready, are you...HNT

Last year I had fun with HNT on St Patty's Day so I thought I better keep the tradition up. I have my mug and am ready for my green beer! Happy HNT from your Irish lass.

Counting flowers on the wall...

I'm suppose to say that doesn't "bother me at all". I'm not convinced.

I said mutliple repeated rosaries last night, I read 10-20 pages of The Devil in The White City. I petted my snoring cats, I rolled onto my left, my back, and my right side. There are no flowers on my wall but there are 8 pictures of Montana landscapes of my own taking on the walls. I saw the clock turn about every 20-40 minutes and counted down until the alarm went off at a quarter to 6.

When i was asleep my dreams were of the past and of pain. Or just plain flat out didn't make logical sense. Finally got up on the second attempt at the snooze button this morning. Showered and got myself all pretty for a full clinic day.

It's now Tuesday night and I've worked 19 hours this week already and last night slept only about 3 total. I got home today around 4 ish and crashed hardcore for a two hour nap. Oops, I didn't make it to the gym. I slept so hard and was curled tight under the blankets. The cats were curled on top of that. I could have slept till tomorrow. But the dreams were scattered and unrealistic messes of jumbled thoughts.

I've had a meeting, I had dinner, now I'm watching a ballistics show and wrapped in a blanket on the couch. Maybe I'll sleep tonight, otherwise I need to paint some flowers on the walls.