A Lonely Task

It's hit. I feel lonely.

The last several times I have moved I've done it with "people". I had a husband for one of those big moves, I had my Heather and Scott for the next one, I had my aunt and all my Rochester friends after that, and when I was getting ready to leave I had Brent and Heidi right next door. Whether they were helping lift things (the guys in Roch rocked that one), hooking up things (Dave was super handy with my washer and dryer plus my new wash machine), cleaning (Aunt Brenda was a god send with her Dyson vacuum), or just being there (like Heidi was when all the mover's packed up my things.

This time, I have me. Mover's have come and gone without a lot of respect for my things; never mind the mess with the driver. I have been out and having fun with the people from work. I don't "know" them yet. They are friendly and great fun. They are kind and supportive. The don't know "me" though either. They don't know where I like my things. I don't want them to see some of my things. The house is such a mess just to clean would be a task of "where do we start". Yesterday it settled in...I'm doing this alone.

I have prided myself for a long time on being independent. Being blindsided by a husband walking out makes one pull up their bootstraps and figure things out. I can rewire light sockets, I know how to hook up my washer and dryer (it's just in the spot they are in it's going to be a two person job to get the washer taken care of...the dryer is already set up and working), I can assemble furniture. I am proud of the fact I am mechnically savy. I take it for granted when I just get things done. i have this "thing" that makes me want to settle. In college I use to stay up the first night in the dorm room until it was all put away. When I moved from MT to MN, I was unpacking things before the mover's even showed up to help with the unpack the next morning. When I moved into the hotel two months ago, I organized everything.

Now I'm in this beautiful log home and I'm procrastinating, sleeping, watching TV and wondering what the f^#&! I finally got enough of the dining room and living room area moved out of the way I was able to vacuum. Just vacuuming made it feel better. I also assembled a bathroom cabinet and a mini bookcase for the bathroom. There is NO storage in the bathroom at all. I put in a new shower head so there is really good pressure now when I shower. I hung up pictures in the stairwell. Started to hang my Montana Glacier pictures but only found one of them...there are two more somewhere. I hauled a ton of boxes out to the pile, unwrapped more stuff so there is another pile to be hauled out. Garbage needs to be taken to town (no garbage service in Fairbanks anywhere). I'm eating Chinese take-out and PB&J because I had too much storage stuff in my cart to put groceries in too and I didn't have that other person to push a second one.

I'm slumping. It doesn't happen often but it happens. Scott will be laughing because he always "waits" for it to come. He's flying off to Indianna or somewhere so I'm the last thing on his mind right now. Heather is taking care of a beautiful brand new baby. Dave's in Spain, Tim sent me pictures of the pooch on the couch last night. Aunt Brenda is working the ER in Duluth. Brent's in Iowa and Heidi is checking in on my empty house for me. Dad wants pictures of the house. I need a clone! And a hug with a shoulder to vent on. A good cry and a bottle of red wine might fix it all. Too bad I'm on call until Monday.