Consumed

The last five weeks I have been consumed. Consumption is not a good thing. They once named a deadly disease "consumption". It takes over ever waking and sleeping moment. It causes you to toss and turn. You doubt yourself. You question your abilities. You become consumed in all aspects. I was consumed by the preparation for my PANRE. The PANRE is a standardized test required by the NCCPA to be taken by all Physician Assistants every 6 years to maintain our national certification to then allow us to be licensed.

First, I can't believe it's been six years since I took the first one. The whole period of a couple months around that time of my life is a blur. To say it was stressful would be an understatement. My husband had left me, I had no money, I had no job lined up, and I didn't know what was next. This time my stresses were minor...the Army forgot to pay for my plane ticket and I didn't find out until I went to check in for my flight. The hotel sent me to the wrong room that wasn't cleaned yet. The testing center wasn't open when I got there extra early on Friday. Those things seem so minor now.

Second, I didn't feel like I had put the time into studying that I needed to. I laid in bed the night before the test thinking to myself all the stuff I didn't get too. I laid in bed the night after the test second guessing all my answers. The difference between recertifying for the first time is that it's all fresh in your head from school and you don't have anything to do but study. This time I had to go to work, go to softball, take call, etc. I couldn't sit for hours and hours and outline things.

Well...a mere three days after taking the test I got my results. I passed! I am nationally certified to practice as a PA for the next 6 years. No more studying cardiology and nephrology for another six years! What a relief! The consumption is over!